ManagementSpeak: That just doesn’t sound right. Let’s do this, instead …

Translation: I really think “ignorance is bliss” is the way to keep a healthy work/life balance.

Google Translate won’t help you when you hear phrases like this. Thanks to this week’s contributor, who did.

ManagementSpeak: This merger will make us a stronger company. I’m very excited about it.

Translation: I’ve got a 50/50 chance of keeping my job. Most of the rest of you are toast.

Thanks to Conrad Macina, who observes that both sides call a merger a merger, but in an acquisition, the acquiring company calls it an acquisition; the acquired company calls it a merger.