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ManagementSpeak: We won't be giving bonuses this year due to economic factors.
Translation: Executive bonuses will be larger this year due to the Employee Bonus Reduction Policy.
I sure hope KJR Club member Karen Gayda didn't lose her annual bonus from giving us this gem.
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ManagementSpeak: You are entering a flat organization.
Translation: Your career has officially stalled.
Joe Baxter, KJR's podcast-meister, provided this interpretation. I hope his podcast work on our behalf hasn't stalled his career.
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ManagementSpeak: As you all know we are going through a major reorganization. Theoretically you all have jobs.
Translation: Better make sure your resumes are up to date.
This week's contributor might be going through a reorganization, and doesn't want to have to keep his resume up to date.
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ManagementSpeak: We have no plans for redundancies and the business is doing great.
Translation: Another 100 people will be marched offsite next week.
I guess this week's anonymous contributor didn't want to be the next one marched offsite.
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ManagementSpeak: What I did was entirely legal.
Translation: I was a schmuck, but I'm not going to admit it to myself, let alone to you.
KJR Club member Rand Fazar was a mensch -- he sent us a top-notch example of ManagementSpeak in action.
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ManagementSpeak: You would think ...
Translation: I didn't think it through, and it's your fault.
KJR Club member George Martin thought the results of thinking things through through.
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ManagementSpeak: We have to decide exactly what business we're in.
Translation: We have no idea how to decide what business we're in and we don't really want any suggestions, thanks.
This week's anonymous contributor knew that here at KJR, we're in the translation business.
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ManagementSpeak: Work with me on this.
Translation: Overlook the fact that my original plan won't work. Fix it without telling me, and make sure I get the credit.
KJR Club member Ray Todd Stevens get the credit. He saw a different translation for last week's entry.
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ManagementSpeak: Work with me on this.
Translation: Do it my way.
This week's contributor worked on this our way, but didn't want the credit for it.
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"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -- Steven Wright
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