It’s pop quiz time. The quiz has one question: Which application development methodology is gaining the most popularity?

If you answered “Agile,” Blaaaaaaat! Wrong answer bucko.

If you tried to demonstrate your more in-depth knowledge of the app dev landscape by answering “Scrum,” Blaaaaaaat! Nice try, but wrongo.

Test Driven Development (TDD) or one of its variants, Acceptance Test Driven Development (ATDD) or Behavior Driven Development (BDD), you’re just showing off. But Blaaaaaaat! TDD might be a technician’s paradise, and for that matter it might be a very good idea, but it isn’t what’s gaining the most acceptance.

Want one more guess? I’ll give you a hint: What do you get when you combine a change in process with the same old attitudes?

Now you’ve got it. The app dev methodology that’s sweeping the world is (drumroll) … Scrummerfall!

Scrummerfall (not an original term) is what you get when you stitch a Waterfall head onto a Scrum body. It’s what happens when you do want iteration and incrementalism, but for one reason or another want developers to do nothing but write code to specifications — you have no interest in their understanding the context, business purpose, or user predilections.

To be fair (an excruciating exercise but I’ll try) there are good reasons for going this route. In particular, if you’re willing to trade off Agile’s high levels of team engagement, enthusiasm and commitment for the large savings in raw labor rates you get from sending work offshore, Scrummerfall might be the right choice for you.

This is especially true in organizations that consider financial measures to be the only measures that matter, because from a purely financial perspective, it’s iteration and incrementalism that drain most of the risk from Waterfall’s combination of long-range planning and short-range planning accuracy. If all you do is wait as long as possible before making design decisions, that by itself will increase your project success rate.

What do you have to lose?

Quite a lot, as it happens. The problem is, what you lose by settling for Scrummerfall is much harder to quantify, because with Scrummerfall, what you keep is form but what you lose is essence.

Another way of saying it: Scrummerfall is an excellent example of what goes wrong when you mistake a business practice for a business processes. For the difference, see “Is it a Process, or just a process?KJR 5/17/1999, although when I wrote it I used lowercase “process” where “practice” is now my preferred vocabulary.

In any event, with a true process, following the right steps in the right order gets you to the desired result. They’re repeatable and all that. The assembly line is your model.

That isn’t true with a practice. Following the right steps in the right order is just the ante that lets you play the game.

With a process, the steps are the essence. With a practice, they’re separate, and following the steps while losing the essence means the steps generally degenerate into nothing more than a bunch of check boxes people follow because they have to, not because they add any value to the proceedings.

And so to the differences between Agile and Scrummerfall. Start with the basics: Writing user stories and estimating them by assigning story points. (If you’re unfamiliar with these terms, user stories are the Agile equivalent of requirements; story points are vaguely equivalent to function points only they’re heuristic, not algorithmic.)

With Agile, the whole team writes the stories and assigns the story points, which means the whole team understands all of the requirements and commits to their estimated difficulty.

With Scrummerfall, business analysts write the stories and assign the story points. Team members only understand the user stories assigned to them for development, and instead of assigning story points … estimates of relative difficulty … the business analysts estimate the time that should be needed for development.

Anyone who’s been on either side of any exercise in delegation knows the difference between me telling you how much time you should need to achieve your assignment and the you telling me how much time you’ll need.

What’s the financial impact of the difference? We can envision what the research needed to answer a question like this might look like, but I certainly can’t imagine who might pay for the research, let alone any business leaders making decisions based on this research.

There’s one more piece of this puzzle to mention right now, and that’s the core model for The Cognitive Enterprise — that cognitive enterprises replace the old people/process/technology model with customers, communities, and capabilities.

With true Agile, developers and business stakeholders form a community.

With Scrummerfall, they’re just cogs in a machine.

Why was there was no Keep the Joint Running last week? No, I hadn’t lost interest. www.issurvivor.com was in the throes of a major re-plumbing effort, and an unexpected glitch (is there any other kind?) delayed the cutover from dev to prod.

Like any sensible used-to-be-technical website owner, I had contracted out the work. And like any sensible parent, I contracted it out to one of my offspring — my daughter Kimberly, a budding contract developer who, like any offspring lacking sense when it comes to a parent, agreed to handle the job.

Along the way we learned (or, in many cases re-learned) a few things worth sharing:

  • Semi-technical users are more dangerous than non-technical ones.

Agile practitioners know to describe requirements in terms of “user stories.” I described my requirements functionally instead, because I knew how I wanted my website to behave.

Except that, of course, what I “knew” was constrained by what I knew, resulting in Kimberly having to engage in quite a bit of patient explanation.

Your semi-technical users undoubtedly drive similar needs for developer patience.

  • Free when you can; buy when you can’t; build when there’s no alternative. I’d expected Kimberly to start with a base WordPress template and add custom code from there. Kimberly, a talented developer, was nonetheless wiser than I. She bought the initial WordPress template and added free plug-ins to achieve what I needed.

Do your development teams embrace free?

GitHub and its brethren can jumpstart the development of all kinds of functionality. Sure there are risks. But ask yourself which is more time-consuming: Developing functionality from scratch, or analyzing someone else’s code for risks before using it.

  • Don’t mess with packaged software. When I didn’t like something about what the new site looked like or how it behaved, and it couldn’t be fixed using adjustable parameters, I often asked Kimberly to tweak the template’s php code. Kimberly reminded me that this would make the site unmaintainable … unless I’d be willing to pay her every time updates appear.

This is, of course, old news to all of us: When commercial software doesn’t do what your business needs it to do, what you don’t do to solve the problem is mess with the core code. I knew this. Knowing better didn’t stop me from suggesting it.

  • Never skip stress testing. For managing the archives, Kimberly tried 25 different plug-ins before finding one that didn’t crash from the sheer number and overall volume of my 21+ years of publishing a column a week.

Just because code works with your test data, that doesn’t mean it will work in production.

  • Don’t trust the cloud. It’s something we know but often won’t admit: Our important files all live on our personal hard drives as well as the cloud, just in case. Whether it’s Dropbox, OneNote, Google Drive, or your corporate SharePoint site, critical files can disappear, even without the magic of synchronization that can propagate deletions just as easily as they can make copies of new or changed files.

In our case, when the time came to deploy, Kimberly pressed my new web hosting service’s magic migrate twanger, only to watch her hard work disappear into bit heaven. She called tech support to ask them to restore from backup (they do back everything up) only to learn that the glitch that caused everything to disappear also caused the backup to disappear.

  • Figuring things out takes longer than developing what you’ve figured out. With no usable backup, Kimberly had to recreate her work from scratch. That took less than a day, because at that point she knew exactly what she needed to do.
  • Test after deployment, too. Just because Operations has a magic deploy twanger doesn’t mean it always works. In our case, once Kimberly got the site deployed it turned out the Search function returned the wrong results. The problem: A corrupted index. Easy to fix once detected.
  • Persistence matters most. This isn’t new more than all the rest isn’t new: Something going wrong isn’t a problem. Giving up when something goes wrong is a problem. It’s old advice: If you assume there’s a way to recover you might be wrong. But if you assume there’s no way to recover, you’ll certainly be right.

And finally … yes, in addition to being what I hope is a useful column, this is a thinly veiled ad for Kimberly’s web development services. I figure if the POTUS can promote his daughter’s line of clothing, I can certainly promote my daughter’s professional services.

Let me know if you’d like me to connect you.