Ever since Samuel Johnson famously proposed that “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel,” last-refuge quotes, such as Isaac Asimov’s “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent,” have been popular.

I have to follow Ambrose Bierce’s lead on this subject, though: In both cases, far from being the last refuges, they are the first.

Which leads to this week’s attempt at aphoristic immortality: “Coercion is the first refuge of the lazy.” (Yes, I do recognize that Freecell is the real first refuge. Chalk it up to artistic license.)

This would be funny if it was funny.

A satirical piece I published in InfoWorld (“10 sure-fire ways to kill telecommuting,” 3/30/2009) mentioned that some promised savings would not materialize. In particular, reductions in office space lease costs often won’t materialize for years, because once you’ve signed a lease you pay until it expires.

The column also “recommended” pushing all home office costs onto remote employees as a great way to encourage ergonomically unsound furnishings, rely on consumer-grade networks, and cause employee resentment.

The timing was perfect: The following, provided by a KJR subscriber, is paraphrased from an internal memo posted on a well-known company’s intranet just last week: