Who’s your boss?

Your boss is anyone who assigns you work. That includes the person the org chart says is supposed to assign you work.

But, as pointed out last week, it also includes anyone you let shift work from their inbox to yours. That can double your workload while cutting theirs in half, which is why I suggested specific techniques for keeping their work assignments where they belong.

However (you knew the “however fairy” was hovering between you and the screen, didn’t you?) … however, I say, take this too far and you can damage or entirely destroy the sense of teamwork that’s essential to effectively getting things done.

After all, teammates are supposed to support each other, helping out their colleagues when their colleagues get stuck.

How to tell the difference between when you should help and when you should say no?

If you’re on the asking end: It’s time for a hard look in the mirror. Ask yourself if the help you’re asking for is to share skills and knowledge, or you’re asking for someone to do your work for you.

While you’re looking in the mirror, ask yourself if asking for help is a one-time exception, or has it become a habit.

If it’s become a habit it’s time to break it.

Unless, that is, you aspire to management and have enough of a Machiavellian streak that you don’t mind taking advantage of your teammates. If so (and understand, I’m not encouraging this), asking for and getting help is a way to make it look like your colleague is “just” a technician, as you position yourself as the one who knows how to think and act like a manager.

Oh, and if you decide that’s a good career move, make sure your confidence in your manager’s gullibility is warranted.

If you’re on the receiving end: To some extent this is the asking-for-help side of the equation only backward. That is, sharing your knowledge and skills is providing help and support, while sharing your time and effort to do a colleague’s work is letting someone advantage of you.

But there’s another piece to the puzzle as well: A trap that’s easy to fall into is enjoying the ego gratification that comes from showing off what you can do to someone else who doesn’t know how.

There’s nothing wrong with this, assuming, that (1) you have the time, (2) you don’t mind your colleague getting the credit for your skills, knowledge, and work, and (3) you’re happy to be branded as a technician, with all the career consequences it implies.

Bob’s last word: It’s a variation on an old and trite, but still true saying: Give someone a fish and they’ll eat for a day. Then they’ll ask you for another fish tomorrow, and the day after that, too.

Bob’s sales pitch: Just in case you weren’t sure about this, yes, I’d be delighted to keynote your event. You read KJR on a regular basis, so by now you have a good idea of the subjects I’d be delighted to keynote about. Here’s where to get in touch: Contact – IS Survivor Publishing .

Now showing on CIO.com’s CIO Survival Guide: “XaaS isn’t everything – and it isn’t serviceable.” It’s about how “everything as a service” doesn’t include everything, and in fact it doesn’t include lots of important things. And no, I don’t know when “X” came to mean “everything” either.

Who’s your boss?

Your boss is whoever assigns you work.

Whoever the org chart says you report to isn’t just free to assign work to you. That’s their job description.

But many of us let colleagues be our bosses too. After your official boss has already given you enough work to keep you busy, these coworkers ask you to do them a favor, which as a practical matter means adding their favors to your already overstuffed inbox.

But the problem isn’t your infringing colleagues themselves. If it was, you’d just say no and that would put an end to it.

Nor is it a character flaw on your part – an insufficiently durable spine.

It isn’t a failure to maintain a catalog of clever comebacks either. Sure, we all wish we were snappy answerers. But in most business cultures, sharp comebacks accomplish little, other than branding you as an unpleasant person.

The problem is deeper. It’s the collection of social norms that makes turning a colleague down difficult. Faced with these norms you need … call them “counter-norms” to get you through the ordeal.

The counter-norm is more than a comeback, and more even than comebacks plus comebacks to comebacks. It’s a dialog architecture, that consists of four parts: diplomacy, your façade, an offloaded solution, and the big close. In more depth:

Diplomacy: That diplomacy matters is hardly a new thought. It’s how to avoid gaining a reputation as an unpleasant person. And while it’s been described as knowing to say “Nice doggie!” while searching for a rock, what it mostly entails is maintaining the line that separates empathy from agreement.

Façade: Your façade is your poker face. It’s the self-control that gives you an expression and body language that conceal your desire to perform an anesthetic-free splenectomy, right now and right here in the cube farm.

Offloaded solution: Just saying no, to quote Nancy Reagan speaking in a different context, doesn’t work. It sounds rude to our own ears, let alone those belonging to the person you’re turning down and everyone else in earshot. “No” with a rationale is a whole lot gentler on the diplomacy scale.

But rationales tend to be event-driven and short-lived. Claims of excessive business fall into this category. A rationale gets you off the hook temporarily, but tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that you’ll find yourself right back where you started, searching for another fresh, new, and plausible rationale.

You need something more durable, even in the face of well-rehearsed comebacks. That’s where “offloaded solutions” – solutions that solve your colleague’s problem without your involvement – come into play.

Here’s what an offloaded solution looks like when released into the wild:

A colleague and teammate asks if you can put a quick spreadsheet together for them. You respond with a rationale: “I just can’t right now. I already have a full plate plus a list of back-burner items that need my attention.”

But your colleague plays this game to win. They’re better at it than you are. They respond, “Please? You’re good at Excel – this won’t take you more than ten or fifteen minutes.”

It’s a one-two punch – a compliment, coupled with rationale-rejection. Offer another rationale and your rationales become excuses – you’re still stuck, and the dialog has damaged your image as well.

Compare this outcome to what you get with an offloaded solution:

“Ten or fifteen minutes is fifteen minutes more than I can give you. Here’s what I recommend: Our on-line training includes some very good Excel courses. Take a couple of them, then have a whack at putting together your own solution. Email it to me, along with a written account of the problem you’re trying to solve and I’ll take a look.”

“This way you won’t only get the spreadsheet you need, but all the spreadsheets you’ll need in the future, too.”

Big close: This is what blocks your interlocutor from continuing to pester you. A good general-purpose example:

“And now I really have to get back to what I was working on. Good luck with the on-line training.” Then swivel your chair back to your keyboard, dismissing your colleague from the fray without ever feeling or looking like a bad person.

Bob’s last word: This isn’t all that different from HBR’s famous “Who’s Got the Monkey” article, except that the HBR article’s focus was keeping delegated tasks delegated.

That’s important, too, but in the absence of techniques it’s one of those things that’s easier to say than to do.

Bob’s sales pitch: I just know you know people who know people, all of whom should know about KJR if they don’t already. Forward your favorites to them, and encourage them to subscribe, too.

It’s a good way to establish yourself as a thought leader.

Now showing on CIO.com: A shot across the bow of XaaS, which, for unaccountable reasons stands for “Everything as a Service,” even though “Everything doesn’t start with an “X” and XaaS doesn’t include Everything.

Take a look at “XaaS isn’t everything — and it isn’t serviceable.”