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|In: Industry Commentary|Last Updated:

I love the movie Apollo 13. It’s a modern rarity. Engineers and scientists – smart people dedicated to their jobs – are the heroes, and they become heroes by doing their jobs intelligently and with dedication.

The only other recent movie that came close was Independence Day, and even there a cable repair guy showed up the real scientists.

Okay, there was Flubber. The hero was a scientist, albeit absentminded. The whole movie was incredibly stupid, though, so I don’t think it counts.

People celebrate stupidity in all sorts of ways. They say, proudly, “I don’t know how to balance my checkbook!” They call each other “bleeding heart liberals” and … well, whatever we call conservatives these days … instead of solving the nation’s problems.

Not just our government, but many corporations as well, employ a “use it or lose it” budgeting philosophy that encourages year-end spending sprees – they penalize managers who reduce costs by cutting their budgets the next year. Stupid.

Lots of companies are stingy with training dollars, because, “What if we train you and you leave?” Well, what if you don’t and the employee stays? Stupid.

Then there’s compensation. Companies tie salaries to the going rates in the job market, then link jobs to the wrong market categories to keep labor costs down. Employees, of course, monitor the job market. These companies then set a corporate standard salary increase of 4 percent. The best employees leave. Stupid.

In a hotel recently, I saw a sign above the thermostat that read: In Heating Season/To heat the room/Turn thermostat up/Turn fan up. To cool the room/Turn thermostat down/Turn fan down. In Cooling Season/To heat the room/Turn thermostat up/Turn fan down. To cool the room/Turn thermostat down/Turn fan up. If we need instructions this detailed to handle a thermostat, clearly our gene pool needs a good cleaning.

Well, I’m sick of it. I’m sick and tired of people being stupid and proud of it, of corporations counting on our stupidity to make their marketing strategies work, of car salesmen pretending to talk to their sales managers to get approval for the price we’ve negotiated and expecting us to believe it … I’m fed up, and I think you and every other IS Survivalist are fed up, too.

So I propose we organize a National Boycott Stupidity Day. Unlike many other big rallies, this one won’t be held anywhere near Washington, because Washington’s citizens re-elected Marion Barry mayor after he was videotaped using cocaine. It’s no place for smart people to gather.

We’ll name a city later, or maybe we’ll hold National Boycott Stupidity Day in a cornfield, stamping out perfect geometric shapes in the corn to prove we’re as smart as space aliens.

For the event itself, we’ll have speakers – top physicists, engineers, biologists, chemists, and other people like that. They’ll have to be smart, though, and they can’t be dull.

We’ll also organize tournaments. Chess, backgammon, checkers, poker, bridge and Go will be a big deal since you have to be smart to play them well. Curling and bocce, on the other hand, will be banned.

We’ll invite some stand-up comics too, but only the smart ones. Good stand-up comics are more perceptive than most professional political commentators, since they’re better at spotting incongruities in the statements of our public figures.

For other entertainment we’ll hold continuous showings of Forrest Gump so we can all not watch it together. The thought of a million or so smart people all simultaneously ignoring this, the ultimate paean to dumbness, sends shivers up my spine.

People like Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Bill Clinton, and Newt Gingrich will get invitations but we’ll turn them away at the door, because to be allowed in you can’t just be smart yourself. You have to encourage intelligence in others.

You’re invited, unless you trust your gut so much you ignore facts and logic when making important decisions. Sorry, but if you do, we’ll just have to turn you away, too.

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|In: Business Ethics|Last Updated:

In one of Keith Laumer’s novels, interstellar diplomat Retief spoke with a local chieftain on a problem planet. During the conversation the chieftain ascribes part of his negotiating position to his “charming naivete”.

“Chief,” responded Retief, “you don’t have enough naivete to last until lunch.”

Judging from the e-mail I’ve received since giving Microsoft credit for winning the office suite wars, there’s enough naivete in our business to last all day. (See “Office suites: Do you have a choice?” June 1.)

My exact words were, “And Microsoft won this one in a fair fight, by betting on Windows when WordPerfect bet on OS/2 and Lotus bet on its lawyers.” It’s remarkable how few people disagreed.

That is, few readers said, “I disagree with your interpretation.” Instead they told me I was practicing a disgusting form of revisionist history, that I was entirely ignorant and lacked historical perspective, and that I was a sycophant who lacked any sense of ethics.

And I thought you already knew I was a journalist.

Since this is a column about succeeding in IS management, here’s a suggestion you can use on a daily basis: Give credit for honest disagreement. When you demonize everyone who disagrees with you, you sound like a member of Congress. Bad career move.

Microsoft has adopted the popular philosophy that business is war. In war, guile and deception have been recognized as legitimate tactics for thousands of years. Reading Sun Tzu’s The Art of War is as important for winning in competitive markets as Machiavelli is for surviving office politics. I recommend it.

Sure, Microsoft recommended developing for OS/2 to Lotus and WordPerfect back in the 1980s. Microsoft either deceived them or changed its mind after its OS/2 development partnership with IBM fell apart, but the 1980s, non-monopoly Microsoft wasn’t under oath and wasn’t required to tell the truth in either case.

Lotus and WordPerfect gave away their franchises through stupidity. CEOs don’t get their ridiculous salaries to accept a competitors’ public relations at face value, any more than a highly ranked military officer should be taken in by a noisy flank attack.

While Microsoft had a top-quality word processor and spreadsheet to sell with Windows 2.0, 1-2-3 for Windows was surpassed by both Excel and Quattro Pro. Lotus never even bothered to create a word processor – it eventually bought the nearly unknown Ami Pro to throw in a box with 1-2-3.

WordPerfect’s first Windows version came out far too late and its office suite even later, cobbled together out of spare parts since WordPerfect never bothered to create a decent spreadsheet.

Yes, Microsoft has its hidden APIs. Yes, they probably make a small difference in overall product quality. Since product quality has almost nothing to do with either mind share or market share, though, you’re left with an important question: So what?

Let’s take this personal. You’re in a leadership position, which means some of your peers may be ethically challenged. They’re your organizational rivals, too, and with organizational rivals promotions are a win/lose proposition, budget fights are a win/lose proposition, and staffing contests are a win/lose proposition too.

Imagine one of your rivals tries to mislead you, perhaps encouraging a foolhardy risk. Is trust your best course of action?

Not if you want your career to advance. Not if you want your department to get enough funding to succeed next year. Not if you want to hire enough staff to get the job done, either.

Never mind selfish considerations. Your staff counts on you to get them promotions, resources, and quality team members. You aren’t paid for your charming naivete, any more than were the dear, departed leaders of WordPerfect and Lotus.

Microsoft won in a fair fight, with fair defined by what’s allowed in the world of commerce. It won by being smarter than its competitors.

You have to adhere to your own sense of ethics. Your rivals don’t, though, and assuming they do doesn’t make you honorable. It makes you lose.

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