According to Yoda, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

While the road to the dark side of customer relationship management (CRM) — dubbed “customer elimination management” (CEM) by a different Lewis — follows a different path, it also leads to suffering. As evidence:

My broadband service works great, but I’ve been traveling, which means I need dial-up capability. No problem: My ISP has a mobile access option, which I duly set up according to the instructions. Just one glitch: I can receive mail, but can’t send it.

That was over a month ago. Through endless hours with this CEM practitioner’s on-line chat and telephone-based technical support I’ve learned that:

  • The two help channels use different problem management systems and have no access to each others’ records.
  • Level Three support, also known as “Network Operations,” isn’t allowed to talk directly to customers. That’s their policy, and it’s unbreakable.
  • For that matter, Level Three support can’t talk directly to Level Two, either. The telephone system has been carefully engineered to prevent it, even though the two groups work in the same building.

I’ve extracted some lessons for establishing a successful CEM practice in your own organization:

1. Make sure organizational boundaries are high. Use technology and your accounting system to reinforce them. In the case of my service provider they’ve gone the extra mile: While the parent company owns an excellent dial-up ISP with the same core brand, broadband is a different division, so it set up its own dial-up service rather than piggyback on one that works exceptionally well.

2. Institute bad metrics. From my various conversations it’s clear this company only measures the number of problems resolved. This ensures an unrelenting focus on dealing with the easy ones. Letting a few tough ones go for a month or three won’t affect the performance reports.

3. The more policies the better, and make sure every employee knows they’re all that matter. Since my first article on CEM I’ve received an avalanche of CEM stories, and most included at least one episode of “That’s our policy.” A thick policy manual and CEM go together like toast and jam.

If you’re wondering, I tried to offer my provider a chance to respond. Unfortunately, the company keeps its media relations group well-hidden, as carefully sequestered as its Level Three support engineers.

Hey, do you think it’s the same guy?

Hitting a pitched baseball is the most difficult job in professional sports, or so I’m told. According to my back-of-the-envelope calculations, only about 1% of the strike zone yields a solidly struck ball, and the batter has less than a half second to get his bat there, swung hard enough so the ball at least clears the infield.

It isn’t easy, which is why anyone who can do so a third of the time receives a lot of money to play a game.

A recent column likened this task to customer relationship management (CRM) or supply chain management (SCM) projects, suggesting that the 30% success rates reported for them aren’t all that bad. Quite a few readers objected to the comparison. They’re right, too: CRM and SCM make hitting a baseball seem easy.

CRM and SCM require strategic change. As I use the terms, tactical change results in business improvement — your measures get better — while strategic change redefines your goals, and as a result changes what you measure.

Strategic change is much, much harder. Why?

Tactical change involves three organizational dimensions: Process, technology, and employee skills. Typically, you begin with process redesign, then design the technology the new process will need, and finish with a training program for all affected employees.

That’s hard enough. But it’s far simpler than strategic change, which may involve as many as seven other dimensions of change as well — all interconnected and interdependent.

Strategic change looks outside the company as well as inside. Looking out, you may need to redefine relationships with customers and vendors, along with your products, and pricing. You need to anticipate how the marketplace you operate in will evolve, and you need to pay careful attention to your “messages” — communication through all media, from advertising to conversations between customers and your call centers.

Internal change gains complexity, too, because you can’t stop with process, technology and skills. Usually, strategic change leads to structural change as well — how you’re organized, your compensation system, and the criteria and paths by which you advance employees. Nor can you ignore the corporate culture.

Some companies say they’re implementing CRM when what they’re really doing is installing a contact management system. That’s a tactical change, and isn’t really all that difficult. True CRM, or SCM, or any other strategic change is a whole lot harder.

In fact, it’s a whole new ball game.