Consultants are obliged to eat their own dog food, or so the saying goes. Given the high esteem in which the IT class holds consultants, being considered canine is, relatively speaking, a compliment.

So at the risk of having readers think this column is going to the dogs, I have to modify a long-held position promoted here for years. If I didn’t, I’d just have to modify a different position promoted for just as long.

What isn’t changing is a core principle — that there is no such thing as best practice, only practices that fit circumstances best. Everything depends on context.

What is changing is that internal customers aren’t pure evil anymore. There is a circumstance where the internal customer concept is a good fit.

Go back to basic economics — namely, the nature of marketplaces, which is where buying, selling, and customers reside. Marketplaces optimize the allocation of resources — the balance of supply and demand.

So here’s the syllogism: The major premise is that by having internal customers you’ve created an IT marketplace. The minor premise is that marketplaces optimize resource allocation. The inescapable conclusion is that treating the rest of the business as a collection of internal customers optimizes IT resource allocation.

To make this all work, the rest of the business has to actually be a bunch of customers. They have to pay you (and each other, when appropriate) for the products and services they use, and they have to be free to take their business elsewhere. You have to be allowed to price your services so that you can afford to deliver whatever service someone elsewhere in the business is willing to pay for.

Very important: The people running the business can’t hold you accountable for bad investments in information technology. That’s no longer your job, any more than Home Depot is responsible for the consequences of your decision to paint exterior walls with interior paint.

Even more important: End-users still aren’t your customers. That hasn’t changed, and won’t. Customers make buying decisions. End-users are consumers — a different role entirely.

If budget managers are your customers, the thorny problem of IT resource allocation — most of the IT governance process — goes away entirely. They pay, you deliver. Otherwise, you don’t get involved. Your scope of responsibility is limited to delivering working software and services that meet specifications. Whether any of it does the business any good at all is Someone Else’s Problem.

Sounds attractive, doesn’t it?

Does this mean the new official position of Keep the Joint Running is that you should make a 180 degree change and treat the rest of the enterprise as your internal customer?

Nope. The new official position is, it depends. If the enterprise’s most significant challenge is resource allocation, go right ahead.

But …

Markets optimize resource allocation and only resource allocation. They’re useless for establishing and pursuing a shared purpose, and for managing shared resources. Which is to say: The business community has done an admirable job of recognizing unmet needs and addressing them. But it took government to launch the space program. To establish the interstate highway system. To build the Internet. And to protect the environment, the stock market, and the food supply — from business.

In terms relevant to the business you serve, if everyone in the business is each other’s customer, the enterprise’s ability to act with strategic purpose will become, for all intents and purposes, nonexistent.

And your ability to maintain a coherent architecture will be severely reduced. A scenario to illustrate the point: Marketing decides to define “customer” in terms of households. Marketing is your customer; you comply. A year later, Customer Service needs its call center agents to see which callers received which recent marketing campaigns. That’s just too bad: Marketing only needs households, and isn’t willing to spend the additional money to maintain individual customer data for the benefit of a different department.

Then there’s the need to create and maintain an internal billing system — full employment for accountants, but zilcho on the value scale for the company.

If the people running the business think it can succeed by having every department in the company buy and sell services from each other like some crowded bazaar, they’ll turn internal politics into a strategy, governance into game-playing, and competition into something that happens inside the corporate organizational chart. But if that’s their decision, you have no choice.

Set up your stall and start selling.

Everyone knows most Americans have five pounds of undigested beef in their intestines. They know it because a character in Beverly Hills Cop said so. From there it became accepted truth, just because everyone knows it.

Just because everyone knows something doesn’t make it right.

Let’s start 2005 the right way … by ridiculing other people, ideas, and events, and in particular, what everyone knows.

For example, last year most Americans were thrilled when Burt Rutan’s privately funded SpaceShipOne reached outer space. Me too.

Everyone knows the flight demonstrated the power of private enterprise. It’s the BIG/GAS (Business Is Great/Government and Academics are Stupid) theory in full flower: The flight just barely exceeded what the government-funded X-15 achieved in the 1960s. Somehow, achieving parity four decades later doesn’t strike me as a demonstration of the free market’s superiority, no matter how exciting the accomplishment.

My apologies for the tedious nitpicking.

Everyone also knows that:

  • The U.S. economy is roaring back. The state of the economy has a lot to do with what you as an IT leader will have to contend with this year, so a prediction at the year’s start doesn’t seem inappropriate.Despite what everyone knows, the economy is dreadfully fragile. I’ll spare you the detailed economic analysis and jump to the clincher: Every administration in history, Democratic as well as Republican, has done everything possible to inflate the economy prior to a presidential election. If what we saw in the fourth quarter of 2004 was the best the incumbent could manage, imagine how bad it’s going to be now that the election is over. Plan accordingly. At worst you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
  • You should move to a Service-Oriented Architecture (SOA). And I agree, SOAs are a superior way to organize, build, and integrate applications, although the methodologies for deciding how to decompose your business into services are less mature than those used to design object hierarchies.What everyone doesn’t know is how to move to an SOA when you have only limited influence over the architecture of vendor-supplied applications. Agreeing that SOAs are the future is easier than figuring out how to make them the present.
  • Storage management is a big honking expense for IT. Except that storage now costs, in round numbers, nothing. It’s less than a dollar per gigabyte on a PC. You can add a terabyte or so of network attached storage (NAS) for chump change. But lots of smart people say, over and over again, that storage management is eating CIOs alive.If storage costs next to nothing, and storage management is such a huge expense, spend your money on storage, not on storage management. Yes, I know it can’t be that simple. I just don’t know what I’m missing. Help me out.
  • Spyware is the next big security threat. Everyone knows this. And this time, everyone is right. Spyware is a mess. It’s far worse than spam because legitimate businesses use it every day, assuming, of course, that you consider Doubleclick’s clients legitimate businesses.This is a repetitively self-inflicted wound, too. For decades, American business has mounted a huge BIG/GAS lobby to de-legitimize any and all governmental regulation. For years, American businesses have craved as much information about their customer’s habits as they can get. And for years, American software companies have lobbied and litigated to make sure their software licenses give buyers as few of the traditional rights of ownership as possible.We’re reached the point where a PC’s putative owner has little more right to control its use and contents than the providers of the software that runs on it and the owners of the websites it visits.So when Doubleclick pioneered the technique of surreptitiously installing code on PCs to track users’ browsing habits, who would complain? Too many corporate victims are also perpetrators, using Doubleclick or similar services for marketing purposes. As for consumers, who, other than Ralph Nader, cares about them?

    In the up-is-down world of computer software, the pattern has been set, and it doesn’t support the right of the PC owner or user. The result: American businesses are simultaneously on the receiving end of a world of customer information and of IT aggravation.

    If you haven’t already, have your security team select a high-quality, enterprise-class spyware detection system in 2005. Purveyors of spyware might have a legal right to install it, but you have an equally legal right to uninstall it. Let’s hope it stays that way.

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I suppose I should end on an optimistic note. This is, after all, the start of a new year, and the notions of clean starts and limitless possibilities are traditional.

As they should be. 2005 will bring its share of challenges. So has every other year. That’s the problem with not living in utopia. But that’s okay.

Utopia would, after all, be an incredibly boring place to live.