Consider plumage.

If Mother Nature hired some consultants I know, the male peacock would lose its tail feathers; likewise the bird of paradise. Even the cardinal’s crest would go, re-engineered in the interest of efficiency. As for ungulates, their antlers, along with the contests they engage in to compete for territory and mates would be replaced with efficient resource allocation algorithms. Alas, poor Bullwinkle.

Mother nature is fine. It’s consulting theory that needs more sophistication. Evolution results in optimization, certainly, but it isn’t always efficiency that’s optimized. In both business and nature there’s a place for efficiency and a place for plumage, but what there isn’t a place for is deference to a group. Neither ecosystems nor marketplaces enjoy optimization except as an accidental byproduct.

Which is just one reason most digital exchanges were doomed from the start: Their goal was to create a more efficient market. The problem: Sellers don’t benefit from increased marketplace efficiency, and while buyers might, they face two huge hurdles: The cost of re-engineering internal processes to use an exchange, and the need for critical mass before value appears — until, that is, enough suppliers participate that it makes sense to buy there.

The benefit to buyers is, in most circumstances, questionable, too. It’s been at least four decades since the quality movement first pointed out the importance of stable vendor relationships. Sure, digital exchanges get the best price for each batch of merchandise. When you’re buying scrap metal, that’s what you want. But when quality and special services matter, a long-term relationship provides benefits far in excess of the small price advantages a business might get from an exchange.

Exchanges are trying to overcome these barriers by adding value-added services, such as collaborative design and product information services. The overall impact of this strategy is to require process re-engineering in entire value chains, raising the adoption barrier even more. If you’ve ever re-engineered a process within a company, you know how hard that is. I lived through the EDI wars fifteen years ago and I can tell you firsthand that just getting an industry to adopt a common technical standard is hard enough. Require all participants to re-engineer their processes in common and only in special circumstances (like the auto industry, in which a few huge buyers can dictate terms to a vast array of relatively small suppliers) is there even a chance of success.

In this, the first year after the end of the New Economy (the Newer Economy?), e-commerce is still an important priority, but IT leaders need to help their companies take a fresh look at where to invest. Digital exchanges — expensive to enter and with a high risk of failure — just aren’t good bets.

For better alternatives, get a copy of Capturing Customers.com by George Colombo. George understands the importance of plumage (you should see his tie collection!) and that understanding is reflected in his book. Instead of digital exchanges you’ll find a dozen or so practical, achievable ideas that can give your company an immediate competitive advantage.

I like this book, not because George is a good friend (he is) and not because an interview with yours truly occupies a small place in it (it does), but because George, a former salesman, never loses sight of the goal: Persuading non-customers to become customers, and existing customers to become better ones.

It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

That’s what lots of people say a year or two after being downsized, or so I’m told. So apparently, I just received good news. I’ll get back to you on it.

I had one of those conversations yesterday. Disappointing first quarter. Need to keep expenses in line with revenues. Here’s the severance package. Sign here if you want it.

No comment, good or bad, about my performance; no word of thanks for my efforts either. Also no indication of dissatisfaction. We’re an at-will employer doing this by the numbers, and presumably the lawyers figure any indication of good work and value might give departing associates grounds for legal action. Very professional; very dispassionate. It’s nothing personal.

The mind goes on autopilot at times like this. Just get through it, get home, pour the bourbon. Find the bright sides — no Monday morning commute; only shave when I have an appointment. Lower dry cleaning bills, too.

A sense of relief: I’ve thought for some time I should go independent, but my knees don’t bend in a way that let me kick myself in the keister.

Start planning. I’ve advised large corporations on strategy and tactics — I ought to be able to advise myself, don’t you think? I wonder if I’ll be as good taking my advice as I am at giving it. Maybe I’ll create a snazzy PowerPoint presentation to illustrate my advice to myself. I’m a pretty skeptical customer, after all.

I’ve already figured out my core approach. Like many entrepreneurs, I’m going to employ the “Amoeba Strategy.” Amoebas, you may recall, send out pseudopods — small fingerlike extensions of themselves — in all directions. When one of the pseudopods encounters food, the amoeba flows the rest of itself into the pseudopod, which becomes the whole amoeba after awhile.

I don’t want to push the analogy too far, for any number of reasons, not the least of which is branding: I don’t want potential clients to think of me as a cell membrane filled with goo.

What pseudopods am I going to send out? Good question.

Consulting is the obvious one, helping IT organizations formulate strategy and increase their effectiveness. I also might organize a seminar for IT managers in the early stages of their careers, to help them gain the skills they’ll need to become CIOs and CTOs.

What else? I can step in as temporary CIO for companies that are between IT leaders. It seems logical to me, but that doesn’t mean it will sound logical to a CEO in the middle of an executive search. I guess I’ll find out.

More planning: I’ll have to put up a web site. That will be a change — no more developing the strategy and content while leaving the HTML to others. When starting a business, cash flow is the priority.

What to call the business? Beats me, but I’d better figure it out. Time to register a domain name, too. And there are all the other niceties I’m used to having other people do for me, like designing letterhead and business cards.

Dang! I’d hoped to relax for awhile. I guess not. It looks like I’m going to be busier after my decruitment than before. That’s good though — I’ve never enjoyed watching soap operas anyway, nor does Oprah appeal to me.

The whole idea of hanging out my own shingle is intimidating. Learning how to program (in FORTRAN), that was intimidating, too, though. I got through that by comparing myself to the professional programmers I knew. Many didn’t seem all that shrewd, so I figured if they could succeed at it, so can I.

I’ll do the same thing now. I know quite a few independents who do pretty well. I flatter myself I’m just as good, so I should be able to at least as well. It’s more reassurance than motivator. Reassurance is good.

I’m supposed to spend some time grieving. I might. Right now I’m not in the mood. And who knows? A recruiter could call tomorrow describing a great job at a great salary. I don’t like closing off options anyway.

How about this column? It will be the same column you’re used to. Maybe a bit better, in fact — no conflicts of interest with my “day job” to worry about.

So while this week’s column was self-indulgent, next week will be business as usual. Here’s the more important question to ask yourself: Will every future column be such a transparent attempt to market my services to all of you IS Survivors?

That would be counterproductive anyway, so don’t worry. I’ll be more subtle from this point forward.