Technology – Page 144

The government vs the Department of Justice (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Next time I get a traffic ticket, here’s what I’ll say in court:

“Your honor, the court has found me guilty. I disagree. Also, I disagree in principle with the existence of speed limits on our nations’ highways. Several theorists claim that highway traffic should be self-regulating — we should allow the overall flow of traffic to determine the speed at which each car is driven.”

“In the case U.S. Department of Justice vs Microsoft, the courts established the precedent that when the defendant disagrees with both the law and the finding of the court, the prosecution and guilty party must negotiate as equals to define a settlement agreeable to both parties. I request the court to so instruct the prosecution and myself in this case.”

Think it will work?

Me neither.

Regardless of whether you think antitrust laws are a mistake, obsolete, or inapplicable to the software industry, and regardless of whether you personally think Microsoft was actually guilty or not, the outcome of DoJ vs Microsoft was unambiguously disgraceful. With the departure of Joel Klein as lead prosecutor, and Penfield Jackson, the Lance Ito of antitrust, as judge, the fix was in. Microsoft said, “Play dead!” and our government’s executive branch — controlled, ironically enough, by the law ‘n order party — obeyed. From this point forward, Microsoft is freed from any constraints worth talking about when it comes to its use of non-market forces to buttress its market position.

As just one example, take a look at Microsoft’s investment in Corel. Almost immediately, Corel discontinued WordPerfect Office for Linux. Since Apple, in its ongoing quest for marketplace irrelevance, persistently snubs corporate IT, Linux is the only significant threat to Windows on the desktop. Which means that just as CIOs, faced with increasingly onerous licensing terms from Microsoft, are starting to search for a credible way to at least threaten to take their business elsewhere, Corel is running away from the opportunity to instead try to sell WordPerfect head-to-head against Microsoft in the Windows environment — a battle it has already lost.

Pardon me for being suspicious.

For several years I’ve predicted an impending implosion for Microsoft. I still see serious problems for it: It’s hemmed in on the server front and has such limited potential for growth on the desktop that’s it’s turned to the only alternative it could think of: predatory licensing.

Its problems, though, have receded now that our government has a “for rent” sign in front of it that lets Microsoft obey — and require its customers and competitors to obey — only those laws it finds convenient.

Customer Elimination Management (first appeared in InfoWorld)

And now, news from the trailing edge of customer service, which my father, the great guru of direct marketing, has dubbed CEM, for “Customer Elimination Management.” I won’t mention the names of the offenders — that would be crass, and besides, I doubt they’re the only companies that pull stunts like this — but there’s a chance you’ll be able to figure it out their identities from context. Just don’t ask me to confirm or deny your inference.

Item 1: A few months ago I received a telemarketing call promoting a new program from my current long-distance provider that provided far more inexpensive long-distance rates than I’d been paying, so I signed up. Something went wrong, though, and my bills continued to show the original, 400% higher fee.

When I called, the customer service associate couldn’t do anything because there was no record of the transaction. Her supervisor gave me the identical answer.

“Somewhere in your company, there’s somebody who cares that you’re about to lose my long distance business,” I said. “I’d like to talk to that person.” The supervisor promised her manager would call me within 24 hours.

The silence since then has been so profound you could hear a pin drop. I paid my bill and changed to a different long-distance provider.

Item 2: The credit card I’ve preferred for over ten years was unique, and admirable, in figuring that if I paid $500 when $25 was due, I’d prepaid the following month. So I was surprised to Discover a late fee on my bill exceeding the amount due. The customer service associate explained that the policy had changed. Oh.

Then I asked for help removing my ex-wife’s name from the account, something I’d been trying to accomplish for quite awhile. The response: It can’t be done. I’d have to close this account altogether and apply for a new one. Since no offer to help with this process was forthcoming I asked to close my account. At last! I got prompt, efficient help — losing my business forever took less than three seconds.

The theory of CRM is that customer acquisition is expensive, so companies profit by spending far less to retain the ones they have. It’s a good theory and it works. CRM software is intended to help implement this strategy consistently.

If your company, like the anonymous offenders described here, practices CEM instead, here’s some advice: Don’t bother installing CRM software. It won’t help.