Several years ago, I put Apple Newtons in the hands of my company’s 55 top executives.

No, it wasn’t my idea, just my project. Yes, it was an exercise in futility. My partner and I did our best to make the experience rewarding and the technology compelling. Its lack of integration with personal computers, unresponsive interface, and extremely hard-to-read screen led many of the executives to ask me, “Why is this better than my pocket calendar and a pad of paper?”

“It probably isn’t,” was my answer. “You may find having your whole Rolodex with you is pretty convenient, though.”

I shared our dismal results with Apple (two executives continued using the Newton throughout the two month trial) and our conclusions regarding its fundamental weaknesses. Apple responded that new Newton users had to be prepared to invest two months adapting to the technology.

And you wonder why Apple is in trouble.

I do see a big future for personal digital assistants (PDAs), though. Why?

Because people still want personal computers, and we’re busy taking them away!

Sure, we give them Intel boxes running Windows. We gripe about it, though, and we make them as impersonal as we can. We lock down the settings, forbidding users to change screen resolutions and wallpaper, and banning software of the users’ choosing. These are Enterprise Resources, we proclaim, and users have to recognize that these are the company’s machines, not theirs. In fact, we’d prefer to chuck PCs altogether and replace them with the much better NC — better, of course, because users won’t have any control over at all over an NC.

Microsoft doesn’t help, either: Although easier to use than DOS, Windows is so devilishly hard to fix when it fails that we’ll do anything to keep it from breaking.

Nonetheless, there are lots of us in the world of business who liked the freedom PCs gave us and want it back. One way or another, we’ll get it, too, because as Jeff Goldblum pointed out about life in Jurassic Park (it will “… find a way”), the market has a way of satisfying demand.

PDAs can thrive for the same reason PCs thrived: Users can sneak them in the side door, hiding them in their office-equipment budgets and using them as they please, not as we insist.

The successful PDA will supplant the laptop computer. Here’s what it will need to succeed:

• Fast boot: When I turn it on, it had better be ready immediately. At most I’ll give it 5 seconds.
• External keyboard: When I pull it out of my pocket, I’ll use what’s built in. When I’m in my office or hotel room, I want a full-size keyboard.
• Streamlined but file-compatible word processor and spreadsheet: Compatible file formats allow guerilla computing. The word processor must read and write Microsoft Word files; the spreadsheet must read and write Excel. (Note to Lotus and Corel: convert to Microsoft Office file formats immediately. You’ll sell lots of copies to power users and renegades, and you’ll be positioned for the PDA market.)
• Harmless customization: Let users have fun personalizing it. Give them back autoexec.bat.
• E-mail integration: PDAs must synchronize directories and message stores with the desktop system every time they’re docked. As a side note, the directory must, Outlook-style, serve as e-mail directory and name-and-address book. Bad as Outlook is, Microsoft got that right.And the most important feature for the future PDA: No way to put it on the LAN. If it’s on the LAN, IS will control it. Give it a PC docking station and quit.

Now tell me I’m not promoting Windows CE. Please?