ManagementSpeak: There will be equitable separation packages for employees at all levels.
Translation: We get golden parachutes. You get tossed out of the plane with a backpack.
This week’s anonymous contributor provided a golden translation.
Year: 2007
Still not tax deductable
Thoughts from an Oregon vacation:
Experts experience a different world (1): In Sideways, Miles and Maya (Paul Giamatti and Virginia Madsen) have a deep, touching conversation about Pinot Noir. They sipped their wine and envisioned the work of growing the grapes, the weather, the scenery, the vintner’s technique … entire vicarious lives.
I experienced flavor.
Relevant IT insight: When non-technical managers overhear a conversation between two engineers and have no idea what’s being said, many shake their heads and roll their eyes. They should be delighted.
Experts experience a different world (2): When you tour wineries you mostly taste young wines — in our case, 2006 vintages. A young Pinot Noir really doesn’t taste very good to a palette as unsophisticated as mine.
A wine connoisseur can taste a 2006 Pinot Noir and predict when it will be ready to drink and what it will taste like … and enjoy the future flavor now. Great vintners taste the grapes and know how to create that flavor.
Relevant IT insight: By the end of the design phase of any systems effort, at least one person in IT, and another in each affected area of the business, must be able to envision the experience of using the future system. Otherwise, while the new system might meet all requirements and specifications, it will still be a mess.
What you like and what you should ask for aren’t always the same: My wife and I generally prefer red wines. As most of the wines were quite young, the whites were far more enjoyable.
Relevant IT insight: When making management choices, what you like doesn’t matter at all. Base your choices on what the situation calls for. Anything else is your ego at work.
You can’t optimize for everything: Joe and Shari Lobenstein — the proprietors of Lobenhaus, our wine country Bed and Breakfast (highly recommended) — also grow a small grape crop. Joe invited us to taste his Riesling and Pinot Noir grapes, which were ready to harvest.
The flavor was astonishing compared to supermarket grapes. So were the seeds, which make up a lot of these grapes.
It’s too bad, but you can’t get the flavor without the seeds.
Relevant IT insight: IT optimization also involves trade-offs. Move to a higher-bandwidth technology and you might find you’ve increased latency to unacceptable levels. Adopt a highly scalable process and you’ll likely find you’ve increased overhead costs, reducing your flexibility.
And so on.
The outside view tells you little about the inside view: You can only taste so much wine, so we spent an afternoon at the Evergreen Aviation & Space Museum, the final resting place of Howard Hughes’ legendary “Spruce Goose.”
From the outside it looks like a very big airplane. When you enter and look the length of it, enormous looks small in comparison.
Relevance to IT: For business management, the experience is features and functionality. For business users, the experience is the user interface. Both are important. Neither provides useful information about what a system looks like from the inside.
But you already knew that.
Sometimes, what you get is better than what you’d planned: One of the exhibits was a Boeing B17G Flying Fortress — the workhorse bomber of World War II.
Bill Jarvis, the volunteer who showed us around the B17, piloted 30 missions over Germany in WWII, starting when he was 18-and-a-half years old.
On Bill’s last mission the Germans finally shot him down. He crash-landed in a sugar beet field in Luxemburg. Allied troops immediately took the entire crew prisoner, not sure if they were really Americans or were Germans trained to infiltrate.
After weeks of imprisonment and interrogation, Bill finally had enough. He told the MPs, in terms that weren’t uncertain and were laced with every cuss word he could think of, that he was going to see the General and they’d just have to shoot him if they wanted to stop him.
When he swore at the General in similar terms, the General concluded he had to be an American — no German could have had such a colorful vocabulary — and freed Bill and his crew.
Bill’s story is too long for this space, so you’ll just have to visit him at Evergreen. He says about half of it is true, but he can’t recall which half.
We’d planned to admire airplanes. Our best experience was talking to a World War II pilot.
Relevance to IT: In the end, technology and process are never as interesting or as important as the people who use them.
But you already knew that, too.