Move over Adkins. It’s time to leave South Beach. Berry sorry, Acai — we don’t need you anymore either. My new, superior diet is guaranteed to leave those unwanted pounds behind.

I call it the Semiotic Diet. It’s simple in concept and even simpler in execution: Rather than prepare and eat actual food, you draw symbolic equivalents (we’ll have an iPad app shortly). Then, while focusing on each food symbol in turn, you envision yourself stuffing your gullet with whatever delicious treats you’ve chosen.

The U.S. workforce has been on a diet for decades.