“1998: Don’t get in a car with strangers.” 2008: Don’t meet people from the Internet alone.” 2018: Uber: Order yourself a stranger from the Internet to get into a car alone with.” — Source unknown

ManagementSpeak: Would you like someone from HR to contact you regarding your exit interview replies?
Translation: Nobody cares why you’re leaving, let alone cares to do anything about it. But HR “best practices” say we’re supposed to conduct exit interviews. So since we’re wasting our time, we might as well waste yours as well.

Contributing this example of ManagementSpeak at its finest, in contrast, wasn’t a waste of time at all.