“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle, or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you better start running.” — Thomas Friedman

“Nice metaphor. Bad ethology.” — Bob Lewis

ManagementSpeak: We pride ourselves on effective business planning.

Translation: We’ve planned a 150-person cubicle move and need your people to do all the work. Tomorrow.

Correspondent L.T. remembers Firesign Theatre’s “How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All” and figures it fits the situation.