Tired of Ebonics jokes?

Me too. I think heard a funny one once, but I’m not sure.

Most of you, like me, probably read a few news and op-ed pieces on the subject and formed an opinion. Par for the course in how we assess public policy.

And then I read one more item, telling me the Oakland School Board’s goal was to help teachers learn to understand their students, which they can’t right now because their students speak ghetto English … Ebonics.

I’m not attacking or defending. That’s neither my charter nor my inclination. My point: most of you, like me, formed your opinion based on an entirely different understanding of the controversy. We’ve been salingered.

I wrote a few weeks ago about the need for “Trusted Information Providers” and introduced the verb “to salinger”, taken from Pierre Salinger’s embarrassing advocacy of an Internet-driven rumor about the downing of TWA Flight 800.

Wrong facts can be either honest mistakes, or lies. Either way it’s easy to correct wrong facts. Things get far more complicated when you try to scrutinize spin doctoring. Here are two timely examples I found in Edupage (www.educom.edu), which I highly recommend.

The first item, sourced from the 2/10/97 St. Petersburg Times, reports that The Software Publishers Association and the Business Software Alliance have puffed up their piracy numbers. “We’ve been hyping the numbers that might or might not be true,” says a spokesman. “Look, all we can do is guess how many people who use computers in China or Bulgaria might actually be willing to pay for Microsoft Office or Doom. But larger numbers get more attention, so we go with the biggest estimate we can get away with.”

The other item, from the 1/18/97 Economist, questions the Network Computer’s (NC) benefits. It cites the Gartner Group’s well-publicized $13,200 annual cost number, breaking it down into about $2,800 per year for the PC and network, $4,800 per year for administration, and the rest – about $5,600 – for “end-user operations”. Most NC savings would come from reduced administrative costs, but would be lost again as companies have to beef up their networks and servers.

Now let me get this straight: almost half of the thirteen grand cost of a PC is the cost of people using the danged things? Puhlease! And let’s look at the other two numbers: $4,800/year for administration translates to about one analyst for every ten users. Sounds pretty luxurious to me. And how about $2,800/year for the PC and network resources? Try to tote up that number without counting your mainframe as part of the network.

The Gartner Group hasn’t shared its model with me in years, so I have to do what most of you do: draw inferences from what I do know. My guess: They took the total cost of IS and divided by the number of PCs. Ignore end-user operations and you get $7,600 per user as the cost of information systems. That sounds about right to me, and nothing to be concerned about.

So here’s my gripe: Subject the allegedly high costs of PCs, tallied by a company that sells advice on how to improve IS management, to any kind of scrutiny and they turn out to be grossly misleading. Shocking software piracy numbers, in similar vein, are the invention of an advocacy group that can’t back them up with much more than air.

When you receive information I suggest you ask, as the Romans did, “Cui bono? (for whose benefit?)”

A little-recognized side effect of the information explosion is the ease with which spinmeisters can introduce uncontested non-facts into the public dialog. Reporters on deadline grab high-impact quotes and, if nobody contests a bit of nonsense, it gets repeated as gospel. With all the information to digest, there’s just not time to independently verify everything.

Which leads you to more Latin: caveat emptor (buyer beware).

I get bored easily.

Since my professions (writing and consulting) depend on my ability to persuade, this character defect has personal significance.

As a senior consultant of my acquaintance reminds me frequently, people rarely adopt new ideas before about seven repetitions. Seven? I’m bored by the third repetition!

Example: Last year I wrote a column or two in which I pointed out the cause of the productivity paradox: that productivity – items produced per unit of time – doesn’t apply to knowledge workers, who don’t produce the same thing over and over.

Computers can’t make knowledge workers more “productive” because the job doesn’t involve productivity in the first place. Computers make knowledge workers more effective, which is an entirely different matter. Effectiveness, of course, is hard to quantify, and even harder to turn into tangible financial benefits.

A few weeks ago I wrote a column on the “True Cost of Ownership” for personal computers, and of course I assumed everyone reading it understood the uselessness of searching for increased productivity. Nope. So think of this as repetition #2. More will be on the way.

Here’s an illustration of the difference between productivity and effectiveness: Executives used to either dictate memos and letters or scrawl them on a legal pad. Either way, their secretaries typed them and handed them back for revision. After several iterations of red pencil marks, their memos entered the mail.

From a productivity perspective, this was a wonderful process – the executive probably spent no more than five minutes on the whole process.

Now, those same executives compose electronic mail, twang the magic twanger, and launch their immortal prose into cyberspace. With any luck at all, the lucky recipients read their words within the hour.

The executive has lost productivity. Even without amortizing the time spent learning to type, the memo almost certainly has required much more executive time. Effectiveness, on the other hand, has increased by a huge factor – more than you may think, actually, because secretaries, no longer called on to interpret and type executive scrawls, now handle far more important tasks.

Think about everything that’s had to happen over the past fifteen years to create this result. The technology, by itself, had only a trivial impact. Coupled with the cultural change that accompanied it, the impact has been transformational.

The branch of anthropology called ethnoscience defines culture as the behavior people exhibit in response to their environment. In business, the environment is the behavior of other people. So, to change a culture, you either change the behavior people exhibit in response to their environment, or the behavior people exhibit that constitutes other people’s environments. You change the people, or the people.

Got that?

Take our executive. (Please.) Typing was beneath him. Female executives refused to type anything because they didn’t want their male counterparts to think of them as secretaries. Personal computers were useless on executive desks because execs looked at the keyboard and freaked out entirely.

When I first got involved in rolling out PCs in an organization, I suggested creating a typing class for managers. My boss told me this was an awful idea – nobody would take it. We could, though, create a class in “keyboarding skills” which would be useful to these guys.

Think about the changes between then and now. Then: an executive using a PC is wasting time doing a clerical job and not delegating effectively. Now: an executive not using a PC is too inept or lazy to learn the basic tools of the trade. And these attitudes are reflected in real behavior – who gets hired and promoted, how work gets done, and what we all expect of each other.

In the meantime, accountants manage to tally the “True Cost of Computing” at somewhere around eleven grand a year, but can’t seem to find any tangible benefit.